Two word to summarize my March - It suck.

"Just feeling really close to someone then having them just disappear. Like I mean nothing." It happened to me almost every single fucking time. Do I deserve to actually lose someone that actually meant a lot to me? What did I do? Fuck. But then again, I am better off dead or without the ones I love so fucking much isn't it? God is fair. Every time when I said "I don't care. I mean what I say." It kills me on the inside. Clearly, I'm living in self-denial. It has always been this way. My Life has turn out to be nothing good but something fucking terrible. And how do those that I've lost managed to do that? To manage to not to feel anything? I feel. I can fucking feel mind you. Maybe after all, I don't mean a single shit to anybody. My entire living Life is a fucking joke.